01.25.25 - I will keep adding on to this when I think of things worth writing. I removed my guestbook after getting annoyed at how i was stopping myself from saying what I felt on another site, surely this is something everyone feels. The things we want to say are crippled by what everyone is saying, this kinda defeats the purpose of saying anything to begin with. I dont know if there is an alternative tho bc i cant expect everyone to send a 1-1 email thats too personal sometimes. When the only discourse happening is a thumbs up or a "love the site" it kinda takes away from the whole reason we're here. Maybe its not that deep and im an asshole.
I usually don't feel the need to explain myself but here we are. As someone who thinks about design and the way things look constantly on top of being a perfectionist i felt that this site, just in the short time i have had it, started to take up too much space in my mind. I like to think of it as RAM. The more RAM that gets used in one place takes away from other areas. As i love the idea of a personal site like this i don't want it to be a detriment. Less is always more for me and i want this place to be a repository of who i am, a folder i can put things into. I want to be able to do that comfortably without being unhappy with the design or focusing on things that take away from what i put here.
After all this isn't for anyone other than myself but i would be lying if i said i didn't want anyone to see. This is a selfish endeavor that has the possibility to give something to other people...not that i think im that profound but being reminded that im not alone in certain aspects by reading other websites is what inspired me to make my own and it would be cool if i could do the same for other people.
Its also a win-win because i find minimalism super aesthetic, surprisingly because of how brutalist society is becoming, every logo you've ever loved has been ruined and mcdonalds looks like a house from the suburbs...but regardless.
I promise this isnt a diss track against all the insane maximalist sites that are common on this side of the internet, you're all cooler than me :/
But again, this is to allow other aspects of my life to take up creative space in my mind, *sigh* only if we had access to our entire brain.
9.13.25 - I started this site with the intention to find a more customized, meaningful connection with the internet. I see the same shit everyday and it doesn't uplift me, inspire me or make me a better person... nor do i really expect it to but determining whether this site is a bigger echo chamber than social media itself should say enough. I've never experienced anything more memorable and pure through personal sites like this in so many years. The nature of the internet is massively disposable, sometimes its hard to even remember what you were even looking at three days ago. Society is more distracted than it has ever been and this feels like a rest stop to slow down and actually process what is happening.